The power of being told "no"

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Welcome to Creatives Anonymous, a weekly newsletter that explores what it means to be a modern-day creative. It inspires, encourages, and empowers readers to take back their creative power.

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Let’s talk about every creative’s favorite R word: rejection. 

I’ve been getting rejected my entire life—personally and professionally—so it’s practically second nature and a built-in expectation for me now. I basically consider myself an expert in it at this point.

If you know me IRL, you know I’m no stranger to taking risks. I wasn’t always this way, though. I recently realized that my propensity to take risks is because of all the rejection I’ve faced. 

Growing up, I was never the center of attention. For all intents and purposes, I was off the radar and invisible. Because no one was paying attention to me or what I was doing, I could do what everyone else was afraid to do. 

And I’ve used that to my advantage ever since. 

Rejection prevents people, especially creatives, from going after what they want. Rejection is simply fear. It’s fear of shooting your shot and taking the risk. It’s fear of the unknown. It’s fear of value being placed on your self-worth. 

As creatives, we’re not going to be liked by everyone. We are all an acquired taste, as is our work. There will always be people who believe in our mission and will be our biggest fans and others who will never get it.

Just because one person doesn’t get you or your work doesn’t mean others won’t. 

The most creative people have been repeatedly rejected, but they don’t let the rejection derail their creative process or devalue their work. They keep taking risks, putting themselves out there, and creating despite the rejection. This helps them build a thick skin and become resilient enough to keep going. 

My hot take? If you’re not getting rejected more than accepted, you’re not taking enough risks or putting yourself out there enough. Getting rejected is better than being too afraid to try. 

The more you get rejected, the more fearless you become. You build the courage to put yourself out there no matter the outcome. The more you shoot your shot, the less afraid you are to shoot it. You realize that “no” isn’t the end of the world and that every rejection is a redirection. 

Whether we want to admit it, every rejection is a blessing in disguise. Every opportunity we’re rejected from leads us to something better. 

There is some divine intervention at play when it comes to rejection. Everything always happens for a reason. It doesn’t mean rejection hurts any less, especially if it’s from something we really wanted because we thought it was meant for us. 

Every rejection leads us to where we’re meant to end up. And most of the time, it ends up being a timing or alignment issue. Maybe it’s not our time. Maybe we need more skills before we’re ready for the opportunity. Or maybe it’s not meant to be a part of the path we’re supposed to go down.  

The loss we feel when rejected can turn into gains and strengths. When we heal from rejection, we can channel it into something better. Instead of settling for something mediocre, we can reach for what we really want. 

Rejection allows us to take matters into our own hands. We can use rejection to create the opportunities we want, not just wait for them to come to us. We can use it to fuel the change we wish to see in ourselves and our work. 

Accepting rejection requires a mindset shift. We often interpret rejection as an attack on our self-worth or the value of our work when it has little to do with it. Most of the time, it’s not personal. As Michael Corleone famously says in The Godfather, “It’s not personal; it’s just business.” 

A while back, someone asked me how I got used to rejection. Here are some mindset shifts that have helped me reframe rejection into something positive: 

• “What do I have to lose by asking or putting myself out there?” 

• “How does this loss serve me, and where does it point my work?”

• “What’s next?” instead of “Why me?”

• “What opportunities is this opening me up for?”

We must stay consistent, persevere, and be patient to beat rejection. With time, we attract the right people and opportunities meant for us. Don’t stop putting yourself out there and taking risks. It gets easier, I promise. 

As I like to say, go big or go home. 

CREATIVE CORNER

• 🎞️ What I’m Consuming: I binged both seasons of XO, Kitty over the weekend. It’s so cringe but light and airy TV. No notes.

• 💡 What I’m Loving: All the winter sunshine we’re getting in Seattle. I’ve already gone to play tennis TWICE outside.

• 🎨 What I’m Working On: Overhauling my business website

• 💭 Weekly Musing:

Thank you 💕

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I’m so grateful for all of your support!

Alexa Phillips is a writer, brand strategist, and multi-passionate creative. She is the founder of Bright Eyes Creative, a creative studio where creative brand leaders build media-first brands, position themselves as tastemakers, and break through the noise with original content.

Where to find me:

• Check out my new offer, Media Multiverse Plotting Calls, where I can help you plan your entire media ecosystem for 2025 in 60 minutes.

• Listen to my recent podcast episodes here.

• Subscribe to my other newsletter, The Underground, a weekly zine that teaches brand leaders to become tastemakers by creating unforgettable content that breaks through the noise and leaves a mark.

• Join Write Club, free weekly 90-minute co-writing sessions dedicated to helping you knock out all the content you have to write for your business.