Living in a state of flux

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Welcome to Creatives Anonymous, a weekly newsletter that explores what it means to be a modern-day creative through essays, interviews, and commentary.

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Lately, I’ve found myself in a season of transition. 

This year has been a huge year of growth for me, no question about it. I’m not the same person I was at the start of the year, or even at the beginning of the summer. And while it’s all positive, it’s also deeply uncomfortable. 

Uncomfortable in the sense that I’m on the brink of stepping into a new chapter, but not quite there yet. I don’t resonate with the old version of myself, but haven’t quite fully embodied the new version of myself either. It feels like I have one foot in and one foot out. 

And sitting in that discomfort is enough to kill you. 

You feel stagnant because you feel like you’re not making any progress towards getting out of the in-between. Everything feels like it’s taking forever, testing your patience every step of the way. You’re waiting for a breakthrough that you feel like will never come. Each day that goes by, you wonder if you’re getting closer or if you’re taking 10 steps back. 

It creates a sense of uncertainty, as you don’t know what will happen or which path you’ll take, yet you feel completely at peace knowing that everything will work out as it should. 

But more than that, it’s nothing short of psychological warfare—being in a state of flux also means you find yourself in the midst of an identity crisis. 

You feel lost and don’t know who you are anymore. Your values have changed, and you find that you don’t hold the same beliefs or assumptions that you once did. Your mindset and attitude change. And it has you questioning who you are and what you stand for. 

And it’s not to say that it’s a bad thing. We’re always evolving as human beings, and it’s healthy for our opinions and beliefs to change. But when you let go of beliefs you’ve held on to for so long that they make up the fabric of your personality and character, that change feels jarring. You almost feel like a fraud, unable to recognize that person staring back at you in the mirror. 

They say to become a new person, you need to “act like the person you want to become.” What they don’t tell you is that when you start to do that, it feels like you’re cosplaying the person you want to be. You start to experience imposter syndrome because you know you’re not fully this person yet (fake it ‘til you make it, right?). 

But it’s not all bad. For every transitory period, you’re stripping away what’s no longer needed to make space for new opportunities. As mentally challenging as it is, it’s also a period of deep self-discovery that gets you closer to the person you’re meant to be. And that in and of itself is worth it. 

P.S.— Speaking of transitions, I’m in the process of revamping this newsletter—stay tuned! 

Creative Corner

• 🎞️ What I’m Consuming: sombr’s new album and The Paper

• 💡 What I’m Loving: I’ve been really into creating FaceTime-style TikTok content documenting my entrepreneur journey (give me a follow!)

• 🎨 What I’m Working On: For the last several years, I’ve been on a crusade to master baking Greek food. Last week, I made karidopita (Greek walnut cake) and NAILED IT.

• 💭 Weekly Musing:

Thank you 💕

If you liked this newsletter, I’d love it if you could forward it to someone who you think would like it, too!

I’m so grateful for all of your support!

Alexa Phillips is a writer, content strategist, and multi-passionate creative. She is the founder of Bright Eyes Creative, a Seattle-based brand consultancy that helps founder-led B2B brands create editorial-driven content marketing.

Where to find me:

• Learn more about my services 

• Listen to my recent podcast episodes.

• Download my free workbook to help you lay the foundation for a content marketing ecosystem that’s both editorially rich and GTM-aligned.