Kill Your Darlings

Welcome to Creatives Anonymous, a weekly newsletter that explores what it means to be a modern-day creative. It inspires, encourages, and empowers readers to take back their creative power.

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If you’re a writer, you’re probably familiar with the phrase, “kill your darlings.” It’s where you eliminate an unnecessary storyline, character, or sentence in a piece of creative writing—elements you may have worked hard to create but that must be removed for the sake of your overall story. 

The same concept can apply to our creative dreams. 

When I was a kid, I had so many creative dreams. At one point, I wanted to be a professional photographer. At another point, I wanted to be a fashion designer. Then an architect (middle school was quite a time for me to explore my creative pursuits). As my interests changed, I “killed” all these dreams in pursuit of others.

But it didn’t end when I was a kid. Even as an adult, I’ve had to kill several of my darlings—blogs, a YouTube channel, a podcast, and even an entire novel premise. Some because I didn’t have time, some because I didn’t have the vision, and some because I wanted to change the direction I wanted to go.

It was hard to let go of every one of these pursuits, especially after investing time, money, and effort in them. It’s a classic case of sunk cost fallacy, where we are reluctant to abandon a project because we have invested heavily in it, even when it is clear that abandonment would be more beneficial. We beat ourselves up and feel bad when our dreams change. We feel like a sellout or a fraud because we stopped pursuing the dreams we had for ourselves as kids or in college. 

But we grow and change. Our interests, passions, and paths change. We’re not meant to do the same thing for the rest of our lives. Where we are now and what we’re doing now feels right for this stage of life. It doesn’t mean we won’t ever return to creative dreams in a different capacity. In most cases, our abandoned creative dreams lay the groundwork and inspire future ones. 

Letting go of the creative dreams that no longer serve us is ok. It’s like letting go of a friendship that doesn’t serve you in your current phase of life. It doesn’t mean they never served you; they just can’t grow with you anymore. As the Dr. Seuss quote goes, “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” 

When we let go of a creative dream, we make room for something better. It’s about strategically pruning back so our creative dreams can grow even bigger. We make room for new dreams and new projects. We leave room for more exploration and curiosity. When we hang on to something that no longer benefits us, it takes time, space, and energy away from pursuing something that does. 

None of the dreams I thought I’d pursue came to fruition, but that doesn’t mean they were a waste. Everything we do and pursue has led us to this point and influences our future creative work. 

In my case: 

• Dream of being a photographer → still avid hobbyist photographer 

• Dream of being a fashion designer → minor in fashion merchandising and fueling my recent obsession for discovering my personal style 

• Dream of being an architect → love of buildings and design (and oddly, a fondness for watercolor pencils as a medium)

• All of my content pursuits → starting this newsletter and my soon-to-launch podcast

If I hadn’t killed my darlings, I wouldn’t be doing the kind of work I’m doing now. The skills and interests I picked up have reappeared in my work, but in different ways (like how my interest in architecture and watercolor pencils will be the foundation for my travel journal project). If it weren’t for that creative dream, I wouldn’t have been able to pursue this new creative dream. 

Don’t be afraid to kill your darlings. You never know what will rise from the ashes. 

P.S. — I’m heading on vacation this week, so I’m taking a few weeks off this newsletter. I’ll see you back in your inbox on September 11. In the meantime, catch up on previous issues here.

CREATIVE CORNER

• 🎞️ What I’m Consuming: Season 4 Part 1 of Emily in Paris. What can I say? I can’t resist.

• 💡 What I’m Loving: Lavender! I took a day trip with one of my friends to Sequim, the lavender capital of Washington, and it did not disappoint!

• 🎨 What I’m Working On: My personal style! I’m on a mission to fall in love with clothing again, so it’s been a fun challenge to push myself in my styling (and documenting it along the way!).

• 💭 Weekly Musing:

Thank you 💕

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I’m so grateful for all of your support!

Alexa Phillips is a writer, brand strategist, and multi-passionate creative. She is the founder and Chief Brand Architect at Bright Eyes Creative, a creative studio that helps consultants, service providers, and coaches monetize their zone of genius and creativity.

Where to find me:

• Join the waitlist for my new offer, Musing to Monetized, launching soon!

• Grab my free brand audit workbook

• Listen to my recent podcast episodes here