What Does "Finding Yourself" Really Mean?

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We hear the phrase “finding yourself” often. But what does it really mean?

The more I’ve embarked on the journey to find myself throughout my 20s, the more I realize that it’s less about finding something new and more about rediscovering what was already there. 

To me, “finding yourself” is about living your most authentic life. It’s about coming home to ourselves, knowing who you are and not being afraid or ashamed to live out that truth. 

In terms of creativity, Julia Cameron says it well: To have self-expression, we must have a self to express. It means reacquainting ourselves with the parts of our personality that we’ve masked. It means leaning into the parts that we shy away from or that others made us feel bad about in the past. These parts ultimately become our greatest strengths and the foundation for our perspective as artists. 

When we meet our truth, we meet ourselves. And when we meet ourselves, we find self-expression. The more specific we are, the more original our work. 

Throughout our lives, we end up masking our true selves, whether it's because we want to fit in or because someone has made us feel ashamed about a part of who we are. As a result, we hid. We fit in. We become someone we’re not. 

While “authenticity” is the hottest buzzword of 2024, true authenticity is hard to come by. With societal pressure and noise, it becomes hard to decipher whether we truly like something because we like it or because our friends or society tells us we have to like it.  

When we finally decide to embark on the journey to find ourselves, it’s usually because we feel out of alignment. We look in the mirror and don’t recognize who we are anymore. We’ve drifted and deviated so far from our truest selves that we must figure out who that is again. 

The good news is the answers are already in front of us. We don’t have to venture far to rediscover who we are—we did most of that leg work as kids. I truly believe we were our most authentic selves when we were kids. The stakes were lower. We were less afraid to take risks and more willing to experiment. It’s when we start to lose our innocence and have something to lose that we start to lose ourselves. 

Even in my own journey, I thought I was so far removed from my authentic self until I rediscovered two poems I wrote as a kid—one at 12 and one at 18—that revealed I wasn’t as lost as I thought I was. I still believe a lot of what I wrote in those poems all these years later. 

If I could pick one word to summarize the first half of this year, it would have to be “realignment.” I’ve been on a journey to realign myself to my truest self. It’s been a journey of rediscovery—rediscovering who I am, what I like, and how I want to live my life going forward. It’s been about rediscovering my interests, hobbies, and personality traits and leaning into them. 

There’s this self-awareness that happens when we’re in the rediscovery phase. I’ve noticed it as I’m going through The Artist’s Way. I’m paying more attention to what’s capturing my attention and what’s inspiring me. I’ve been exploring my old work and reminding myself of what I’m into—styles, colors, graphic elements, clothing, home decor, etc. And I must say, it’s been so refreshing.

The more we align with ourselves, the more things fall into place and click. You know it feels right when things click seamlessly without it feeling forced. 

Instead of going out to find yourself, go inside and rediscover what’s already there. You might just surprise yourself.

CREATIVE CORNER

• 🎞️ What I’m Consuming: I’ve been loving watching content from Rian Phin about becoming a better fashion analyst and improving your fashion knowledge.

• 💡 What I’m Loving: I’m OBSESSED with the Seattle Public Library’s Central Branch in downtown Seattle. If you haven’t checked it out, do it! It’s part architecture marvel, library, and museum.

• 🎨 What I’m Working On: Lots of photography—both 35mm film and digital

• 💭 Weekly Musing:

Thank you 💕

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Alexa Phillips is a writer, brand strategist, and multi-passionate creative. She is the founder and Chief Brand Architect at Bright Eyes Creative, a creative studio that helps consultants, service providers, and coaches monetize their zone of genius and creativity through courses, content, and productized offers.

Where to find me:

• Join the waitlist for my new offer, Musing to Monetized, launching soon!

• Listen to my recent podcast episodes here

• Read my mid-year recap